too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
