I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
