i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
