I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
