my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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