So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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