Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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