If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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