please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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