You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
