Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
