remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
