I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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