Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
