Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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