I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
