I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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