what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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