Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
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