Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
