In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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