It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
