I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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