; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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