you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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