If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
