In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
