At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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