White coat. Heels.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
