would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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