i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
