God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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