she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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