I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
