Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
