How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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