What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just want nice things and good sex
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My life is pants optional.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
