Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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