I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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