I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
