absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am puke
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
