I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
