I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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