no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
