Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bsmith hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

I'll bet she douches with gravy.

Fav 6 958 3468
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding

Fav 8 4055 1639
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.

Fav 10 2802 1477
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.

Fav 8 3205 1011
share tweet
(725): View more from

well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet

Fav 6 1016 1732
share tweet
(912): View more from Georgia

That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.

Fav 4 828 1321
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

Fav 4 1696 790
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

what the fuck is wrong with you

(702): View more from Nevada

Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?

Fav 1 138 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(409): View more from Texas

I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.

Fav 0 46 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT