i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
