either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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