I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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