I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
