i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
